Adam informed me that blackface wasn’t actually offensive, it was just people pretending to be offended because they love a good argument. Probably best just to skirt around it and be vague ('she’s average height with brown curly hair'). If your boyf is not a total douchebag, it will have occurred to him that he has a massive economic and social advantage over most of the rest of the world. It’s kind of the opposite of when you’re out with a brown friend and everyone thinks you’re related. All of this makes it sound like race defines my dating experiences, which is obviously not true at all.
Like, err yeah, thanks Adam for that nugget of ignorance, you absolute bell-end. Say you arrive at a restaurant separately and he describes you to the maître d' to see if you’ve been seated already. You’ll end up sitting at opposite ends of the restaurant but at least no one’s been racist. Check him with all his white male privilege, right? Going out with white boys is just as frustrating and fun as dating black guys or white girls or black girls.
I grew up in a small town in the 90's, where I was the only non-white girl in my class at school and my skin colour was a curiosity rather than a threat.
Walking out of the house and having such things waiting for us seems glamorous and European – almost James-Bondish. You can be unemployed and living at home – sleeping on a twin bed shaped like a racecar, even – and nobody will think it’s weird. Anyway, Spanish girls are used to dating guys who own cars – or who can at least borrow one when he’s ready for some action. If you’re in your 20s or 30s and carless, but somehow manage to scrape together the money to rent a room in a shared flat, you’ve got a leg up on the competition. Maybe she got sick of my carless ass and our sofa dates… Of course, there are people from all over who believe one strange thing or another. Here’s one that bothers me: the idea that aircon or heating makes you sick.
Often a guy will say something along the lines of, ‘There was no racism where I grew up, we all just got along!
’ or ‘I don’t even see race, when we first met I didn’t even notice that you weren’t white! Whether you want to see him again depends entirely on whether he’s more attractive than he is annoying. The appropriation of black culture in the mainstream?
However, for your average Spanish guy, a car is a large part of the seduction process. ‘Cause last time I checked, sex in cars was pretty awkward. I don’t see much of what goes on inside Spanish families. But let’s just say women from the South of Europe are used to expressing themselves and talking about how they feel – often at high volume. Spanish people just converse in tones that sound (to us timid anglophones) like shouting. Maybe she longed to go back to making out in the park with an unemployed guy who uses lots of hair gel. Or really moving air of any kind – especially if you’re indoors. The amount of heartbreak I’ve been through because of Spanish girls and our cultural misunderstandings is truly mind-boggling.
You might see her do it with friends – shouting and waving her hands, in a group of 9 people who are all talking simultaneously. If you should somehow become the target of this conversational shouting – and you will, if the relationship lasts longer than a few hours – the best thing to do is just breathe. It might not even be an argument – at least by her definition. You’re saying, “But last weekend my mother-in-law made Anyway, much like dating a Spanish girl means you’ve forgotten about any summer plans that don’t involve lying on a beach for 3 weeks, you’d also better forget about Sunday plans that don’t involve rice and saffron. I’m sure I’m not the only guy this has ever happened to… I suspect this is just a myth created by the scarf industry to make sure she spends 11 months a year wrapping her neck. I’m shocked that I’m still – barely – hanging onto a shred of sanity, after all that.